Ten Things I Hate About June
by Jacko The Great
Summary: Based on the movie "Ten Things I Hate About You". Davis isn't allowed to date until June gets a boyfriend. Somehow Joe gets Bob (the ref.) to date her.


Ten Things I Hate About June!  
  
Yes, once again, I am writing a June and Davis Bashing Fic.  
I love these things!  
Anyhoo! I am basing this slightly on the movie:  
"Ten Things I Hate About You" (which I don't own)  
Which is based on Sakesheare's "Tameing of th Shrew".  
  
~*~And now for our feature Presentation~*~  
  
"But Mom!" An upset Davis moaned.  
"No buts mister!" Davis's mom replied, "You are not dating! I hate seeing you heart broken every time that Kari girl puts you down. So, from now on, no more dates!"  
"Oh," Davis moaned once again.  
"And if I ever find out that you even asked for a date you will be grounded for life!" Davis's mom continued.  
"But Mom, how will I ever find the perfect girl if I can't date?" Davis persisted.   
"I'll tell you what!" Davis's Mom responded, "You can date when June gets a boy friend!"  
"What!?"  
"End of discussion!"  
"Grrrr….." Davis growled as he marched into his room.   
"What's the matter Davis?" Demiveemon asked after Davis slammed the door.  
"Mom is not lettin' me date Kari until June gets a boyfriend!"  
"Smart lady!"   
"I'm serious Demiveemon!" Davis yelled.  
"I am too!"  
"Oh, shut up!" Davis remarked, "I must ponder up a plain to get June a boyfriend."  
"How 'bout the personals ads?" Demiveemon, "Lots of people find a date there!"  
"What a great idea!" Davis exclaimed as he grabbed a newspaper, "Glad I thought if it!"  
"Since when did you keep a newspaper in your room?" Demiveemon questioned.  
"Since the author wrote it in this story!" Davis replied.  
"Oh!" Demiveemon replied, "Hey, wait a minute! I thought June married a Pop Tart, moved to Canada then got hit by a bullet train!"  
"Sush! Mom wasn't invited to the wedding." Davis said.  
"What's that got to do with anything?"  
"I dunno"  
"Then why did you say it?"  
"Good question."  
"Hmm, life is full of good questions."  
"Come on! Seriously, help me write a personal ad for June!" Davis scolded as he whipped out a small notepad and pen.  
"Let's see." Demiveemon thought out loud, "How 'bout "Brainless imbecile looking for brave or stupid male"….."  
"Why brave or stupid?" Davis interrupted.  
"Whoever dates June would have to be either very brave, or very stupid!" Demiveemon answered.  
"Oh I get it!" Davis agreed, "What's our object?"  
"Object: World Domination!"  
"It's too…violent."  
"Okay then; object: long time relationship."  
"I like it!" Davis said as he finished writing the ad. Davis stuck it in an envelope and said,   
"Let's go mail this thing."  
  
~*~*A Few Days Later~*~*~  
  
"Yup, any minute, we should be getting a phone call from people wanting to date June!" Davis said out loud.  
"You said that five minutes ago." Demiveemon replied, "And we haven't gotten a phone call yet."  
Strangely enough, right as Demiveemon said that, the phone rang.  
"I got it!" Davis yelled as he reached for the phone, but before he got to the telephone, Demiveemon snatched it out of his reached.  
"Hello?" Demiveemon greeted on the phone.  
"Um, hi! Is this the number where I can talk to 'Dumb and hopeless' from the personal ads?" The caller asked.  
"Yes, I am speaking on behalf of 'Dumb and hopeless' to interview the gentlemen callers before the date." Demiveemon explained, "First, what is your name?"  
"Joe Kido." The caller responded.  
"Joe?!" Davis exclaimed as he took the phone for Demiveemon.   
"Davis?"  
"Joe, 'Dumb and Hopeless' is June!" Davis told Joe.  
"Oh, I knew I recognized the number. So, why is June in the personal ads?" Joe asked.  
"Mom said I'm not allowed to date until June gets a boyfriend!" Davis explained.  
"Smart lady!"  
"That's what I said!" Demiveemon exclaimed.  
"Shut up Demiveemon!" Davis said as he smacked Demiveemon away from the phone, "Anyhoo, I think I owe it to you, as a friend, not to make you date June. But, you're the only one who's called."  
"Oh don't worry I know a perfect person to date June!" Joe said.  
"No, Matt won't do it either!" Davis answered.  
"I wasn't talking about him; I was talking about someone else." Joe corrected, "In fact, you know him."  
"My mind is drawing a blank." Davis stated.  
"That's not surprising." Demiveemon remarked. Davis promptly smacked Demiveemon once more.  
"Remember Bob, the referee?" Joe asked.  
"No."  
"He was the guy who was high on cheese."  
"Nothing."  
  
It was about then that the author got tired of Davis's conversation with Joe so she is going to skip to a scene at Davis's literature class.  
"I want you to write something about June." Davis's Teacher said. For the purpose of this fan-fic, the author decided to call him Mr. Fuzzbutt. Davis raised his hand.  
"No Davis, the moon isn't made of cheese!" Mr. Fuzzbutt answered.  
"I wasn't gonna ask that." Davis replied.   
"What were you going to ask?" Mr. Fuzzbutt (admit it, you love that name).  
"Why do you want us to write something about my sister?" Davis asked.  
"No, I want you to write something about the month that is named 'June'." Mr. Fuzzbutt explained.  
"There's a month named June?" Davis exclaimed, "Now I'm totally confused."  
"Yes, there is a month named June. And I want you to write about June." Mr. Fuzzbutt explained.  
"You want me to write about my sister?" Davis asked, having forgotten what Mr. Fuzzbutt had said.  
  
Once again the author decided that she's bored of this scene, just as Mr. Fuzzbutt lunged for Davis's throat, so she's gonna change it again. Allow the author to state that yes; she is going to refer to herself in third person throughout the fan-fic.  
Now the author is taking this fan-fic to Davis's house when Joe, Davis and Demiveemon are explaining the whole "date" concept to Bob.  
"Okay Bob, so that is why you're going to date June" Joe explained. Bob, being Bob, just stared off into the thin air. His curly red hair was more wild than usual, he still whore his circus tent sized pants, but instead of his referee shirt, he wore a tie-died t-shirt.  
"Bob, did you happen to eat some cheese before you came here?" Joe asked.  
Bob, not taking his eyes off the wall, reached into his pocket and took out a can of easy squirt cheese.  
"No Bob!" Joe exclaimed as he took the cheese away from him, "No cheese."  
"I don't think Bob is listening." Demiveemon stated.  
"At least we know why they are such good friends!" Joe replied.  
"I'm telling you, I don't know this guy!" Davis exclaimed.  
"Davis, just pretend that you do know him." Joe said.  
"But I don't!" Davis exclaimed.  
"Don't you have homework to do?" Demiveemon asked just to change the subject.  
"Oh yeah, that's right!" Davis said as he got up, "Mr. Fuzzbutt wants me to write about my sister for some reason."  
"I think he wants you to write about the month 'June'." Joe explained.  
"There's a month name June?" Davis exclaimed, "Now I'm totally confused.  
"Don't even try to explain." Demiveemon whispered to Joe. Davis walked into his bedroom. Joe's attention was adverted to Bob just as he started to get another piece of cheese from his pants.  
"What? Do you have a safe full of cheese in your pants?" Joe asked angrily as he took the cheese away.  
"Okay, now that Davis is out of the room." Demiveemon said, "Bob, are you sure you're willing to date June."  
Bob just stared off at the wall.  
"I take that as a no." Demiveemon answered for Bob.  
"Okay. So he won't do it, but I'm not giving up." Joe said, taking Demiveemon aside, "Maybe we can bribe him."  
"Good idea! We'll bribe him!" Demiveemon agreed, "But with what?"  
Joe and Demiveemon turned back to Bob, who was eating a piece of American cheese. It gave Joe an idea.  
"Bob, if you date June I'll give you some cheese." Once Joe had said that, Bob's eyes lit up like it was Christmas. That Friday, Bob and June went out on a date. It wasn't really much of a date. It looked more like what a little girl would do to pretend her Barbie was going on a date with Ken. Bob was so clueless that Joe had to hide in the bushes of the restaurant to make sure Bob didn't run away. Bob didn't enjoy the date, but he did enjoy the cheese. June didn't enjoy the date either. But none the less, she married Bob, moved to Canada and got in an accident involving a hot glue gun and a bullet train. There is a plus side; Davis's mom let him start dating again. Although Davis hasn't been able to enjoy it due to the fact that Kari still won't date him.  
  
The author wishes to make one final scene in the fan-fic. You thought that you could get away from Mr. Fuzzbutt, eh?  
"Okay, who wants to read their papers about June?" Mr. Fuzzbutt asked the class. Davis raised his hand.  
"Oh Lord!" Mr. Fuzzbutt exclaimed as he slapped his forehead and allowed it to slide down, "What is it Davis."  
"I would like to read my poem about June." Davis explained as he stood up.  
"Now Davis, are you sure you understood the assignment?" Mr. Fuzzbutt asked, "I almost lost my teaching license when I tried to explain it to you last time."  
"Yes, I understood the assignment." Davis said, "Ahem, the name of my poem is 'Ten Things I hate about June'."  
  
1.)Her hair  
2.)Her voice  
3.)Her obsession with looking like Tai  
4.)Her obsession with any boy within a five mile vicinity  
5.)Her foot  
6.)Her pimple  
7.)The fact that she lives in the same town as me  
8.)The fact that she stole my Barney Doll  
9.)The fact that she claims to be related to me.  
10.)EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
When Davis finished reading his little "poem" Mr. Fuzzbutt stared at Davis blankly; then went for his jugular (and promptly lost his teaching license).  
~*~The End~*~ 


End file.
